


Drowning

by spiderlingthememe



Series: Tumblr Prompts [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Crying, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Suicidal Thoughts, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 10:59:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18409253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiderlingthememe/pseuds/spiderlingthememe
Summary: Drowning. That was the only way Peter could describe it.Peter doesn’t know how it started. How he fell into the water, how he started to sink. He just did. Nobody can know he’s drowning though. Because they’ll try to drag him back to the surface.Peter doesn’t know if he wants that anymore.-Mentions of depression, cutting and suicide (though there isn't anything explicit)Read at your discretion.





	Drowning

Drowning. That was the only way Peter could describe it.

Not like the type of drowning where you panic, struggling to reach the surface. Not the kind where all you can think is ‘up, need air,  _breath_.’ No… it’s the kind of drowning where you lay still. Waiting for your fate to drop over you like a heavy blanket on a winter morning. The air that once was so important, isn’t anymore.

Peter doesn’t know how it started. How he fell into the water, how he started to sink. He just did. Nobody can know he’s drowning though. Because they’ll try to drag him back to the surface.

Peter doesn’t know if he wants that anymore.

-

Tony looked back at Peter as they sat on opposite ends of his lab, his eyes narrowed slightly with worry. The kid’s usually halfway through complaining about how dull his day was by now.  _‘I’m Spiderman Mister Stark! There are more important things I could be doing than sitting in a boring classroom!’_ Tony should be working out his daily dad talk about how important school is and that heroism can wait until later. _‘Jeez kid, your fifteen.’_  But he’s not.

Peter is still sitting in the same spot he was three hours ago when he arrived at the Tower. The past two weeks Peter has been acting off. Tony had chalked it up to Peter being in one of his moods, the teenage angst kind where they hate the world. But Peter has a good heart, sure life is hard and everyone copes differently…  but this?

It’s like he wasn’t all there. Empty, almost.

“Hey kid?” Tony said. A small shift of those muted bambi eyes that used to hold so much life giving the only indication Peter heard him. Tony raised a brow, his eyes roaming over Peter, “you good? You’re usually talking my ear off by now.”

Peter shrugged and shifted slightly,  _god his body must be killing him for staying in one spot for so long,_  Tony winced.

“I’m fine.”

And that. Tony can’t think of the last time he has heard Peter say anything other than those two words. Tony pulls himself out of his chair and cracks his back, cause  _damn it_ he needs to fix his kid.

“Kiddo, you and I both know that’s not true.” Tony rest one hand on Peter’s shoulder, the other used to push his untouched books out of view. He nudges Peter gently. “C’mon Pete, what’s going on?”

Peter suddenly jerked with a sniff, pulling away from Tony’s hand and standing, “Nothing. I’m fine.” Peter slumped his way towards the elevators, leaving Tony baffled behind him.

“Where are you going?” asked Tony. He stood, moving towards the moody spiderling.

“Home.” Peter clipped. Tony froze and looked at his watch. It wasn’t even six-thirty yet. Happy isn’t supposed to bring him home till eleven.

Tony took three long strides and grabbed Peter’s arm. “How are you getting there?” Tony sure as hell isn’t letting this kid walk home in his state. Whatever this state is.

“Webshooters.” Peter lifted his wrists vaguely.  _Oh hell no._

“How about you try again.” Tony leveled Peter with a stern glare. He wasn’t leaving this Tower until Tony figured out what was wrong. Peter deflated with a mumbled ‘nevermind’ and pressed the button on the elevator for the kitchen.  _Maybe he’s hungry?_  “I can order some pizza if your hungry, Pete.” Tony watched the doors shut before Peter could answer and sighed. He could follow him, but he has FRIDAY to watch.

“Hey Fri?”

“Yes Boss?”

“Initiate ‘Baby Gate Protocol’. Peter doesn’t leave until I say otherwise.”

-

Peter trudged to the kitchen once the elevator stopped, his feet leading him to the clear counter. Really, Peter knows why his mind lead him here. Tony’s downstairs, he wouldn’t find out until it was too late. Peter wouldn’t be sinking, wouldn’t be drowning anymore.

He wouldn’t be anything.

His eyes roamed over the drawers, until they landed on the right on. He pulled out a small perry knife, tilting it in the light. The light reflected brightly, shining in his eyes. There was a slight tinge of pain but Peter didn’t care. It would be over soon enough.

It all would be over soon enough.

-

“Boss.”

Tony glanced up quickly from his work. “Fri? What’s up?”

“Boss I suggest you make your way to the kitchen. Peter seems to be in distress.” Tony was in the elevator before she finished.

-

_Come on Peter. Just do it. It won’t hurt that bad. It’ll be quick._

Peter grunted slightly as he tried to bring the knife closer, his hands shaking violently, his vision blurring. He felt drops of something on his arm. Why is his arm wet?

_You don’t want to do this._

_Yes you do. All the pain will be over._

_What about your family? May? Ned? Tony…_

_Just do it._

Crying. Peter realizes he’s crying. But he’s already made up his mind. It’ll be better for everyone if I’m gone.

“Peter.”

That one, Peter realizes with a start, wasn’t in his head. He looks up to see Mister Stark. How did he know? Why did he come up?

Dammit FRIDAY.

“Peter.” Tony says it again. He’s inching forwards slowly now, hands held up like he’s moving towards a wild creature, cautious so not to scare him away. “Peter, drop the knife.” Peter looks down at that. He’s still holding the knife with shaking fingers, ready to guide it home. Ready to end it all. It won’t take much. Just a couple slits. Maybe he’ll even see Uncle Ben.

While lost in his thoughts, Peter fails to notice Mister Stark until it’s too late. Until he already has a grip on both of his wrists, maneuvering the perry knife out of his hand and tugging him into a tight embrace. Peter cries then. Heart wrenching sobs releasing from his chest and going straight into Tony’s.

“M-mister St-ark…” Peter hiccups, tugging on his wrists to wrap his arms around his da- his mentor. He, he almost- “M-mist-ter S-sta-rk!” Tony tightens his hold as Peter’s legs give out, lowering them gently to the ground, pulling his kid into his lap and rocking slowly.

“Shhh Pete, I know. It’s gonna be okay kiddo.”

Peter’s muttering something in between the sobs that Tony can’t quite make out. Tony shifts his ear down.

“Drowning. I was drowning. You pulled me up.”

With watery eyes, Tony pulls his kid closer, running his hands through Peter’s curls as they hold each other tightly on the floor, afraid to let the other go.

“I always will kid. Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr! Come shout with me and send me an ask @spiderling-the-meme


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